Fucking babies... no, not like that.

This has to be said people, BABIES ARE NOT CUTE, they are ugly, I can tolerate baby pictures in small doses, but fucking ultrasound pictures!!! They are ugly enough when they come out, I don't want to see them squished up inside your guts. FUCKING THINK OF ME, I do. whats next people a photo of the sperm fertilizing the egg? I draw the fucking line if its not breathing, I don't want to see it...
unless its a murder victim, that'd be cool.

sunday

saw daniel townes show

last night at festival

6 hours sleep in two days is not a good thing, there is something truely wrong with the world if I can't sleep in. Its a travesty of uncomparable proportions, and whats worse, I can't even sleep off my hangover. Yesterday was good, saw sammy J and randy, and saw dead cat bounce, bothe brilliant, see dead cat bounce early, before they start selling out. So far this festival I'm averging a kiss on the cheek a night, facial cheek you sick fucks, I 'm gonna be dieseased as hell by the end of festival if this keeps up. Got kicked out of the hifi at five am, too soon. I still don't like silent disco, how do you know if its worth dancing to if you cant hear it from the top bar. Talked to someone last night I would never have seen myself talk to, I think I did it just cause I know she loathes me, we were surrounded and she had to be polite, but I could see the hatred, hehehehehehehehe... hehehe. I know, I'M FUCKING NASTY! and yes I know both does not have an E on the end, learn to overlook unimportant shit.

Sinking clock

I sit here upon the airconditioner at 2:30am, smoking out the window. I look out into the heart of melbourne. Just a week ago I could see to the horizon in every direction, now I can't even see one block. One extreme to the next. From a town where everyone knows my name to a city where I will perform to a bunch of strangers I may never see again... I feel lost in my surroundings and yet I used to know them so well, Melbourne was the home I would never truely call home and yet now, being here, I feel so distant and long for the openness of the countryside. I don't want to be famous, I never did, I just want to make people laugh, originally it was because I couldn't laugh myself, now it's something I can share, and hey, it beats therapy. Still I find I don't quite belong anymore, I don't belong in the country, I don't belong in the city, where do I fit in, or am I not meant to fit anywhere.
Thoughts of the show haunt me, I'd just like to get it right, and I am trying, I just can't get it into my thick head. Lost in a sea of second hands that rotate anticlockwise and sink when I touch them. Oh to be young and stupid once more, perhaps I should have become the lawyer my parents wanted me to be, but then again, in a world like that, I'd more than likely top myself.

Insignificant

I looked around the other day and what a scene I beheld. I can see the horizon flat as in every direction. To my right a storm was raging somewhere in the distance, I could even see the lightning. To my left the sun was poking through big puffy white clouds shooting rays of gold down upon the land. The road was so reflected that it looked like a mirror or even a water bed, and the crops around me sparkled in the sun's light.
I thought to myself as I beheld such beautiful wonders, with all these beautiful things if there is a god, why on earth would he bother making me?

Pretty Rose

I plucked a rose from my garden just a week ago
And remarked to myself, what a pretty thing to grow.

I put it on my windowsil

In the passing week I watched the petels droop and fall to the floor.
The rose withered up to nothing and was no more
Its a shame that beauty dies so fast
Thank god for ugliness casue we will live forever

Dead Numbers

A friend of mine died recently. A close friend. I didn't go to the funeral, I was in melbourne doing stand up comedy. When I droped into Sydney on my way home, my mother said to me, that she got a friend to delete the deceased number from her phone.
I'd never thought about something like that. I've had many friends die, at least three suicides, one murdered, two manslaughtered, a lot of accidents and a few old agers. I've had this running through my head for weeks now, but today, something about today made me write about it. Maybe it's the chill in the air as winter sets in... nah, it's more likely I haven't done something productive since I returned from Sydney and today I woke up.
I woke up, but none of them will.
I've never deleted any of their numbers, and I don't plan to. I wont even look at them, they remind me of the people who once possesed them. Seeing them would bring to light the fact that although I take their numbers with me everywhere, I'll never call them again, never hear their voices. I guess having their numbers in my phone, helps me to pretend that there not gone. And I'll flick through my phone, see their number and think, 'haven't heard from them in a while,' and then reality will dawn on me once more.
My memory is so bad I could forget they ever existed, but I know I wont now. I'll carry their numbers with me until I die.