baby pictures

This has to be said people, BABIES ARE NOT CUTE, they are ugly, I can tolerate baby pictures in small doses, but ultrasound pictures!!! What is wrong with you people? They are ugly enough when they come out, I don't want to see them squished up inside your guts. Think of me! I do. What comes next people? Photos of the sperm fertilizing the egg? I draw the line if its not breathing; I don't want to see it. Honestly, think about it, do you like staring at fifty million pictures of someone else’s brat with its snot nosed face pushed up against something. Of course you don’t, but you smile and say, “Oh isn’t he cute.” Because you don’t want to be seen as a selfish prat, even though you are. It’s nothing to be a shamed of, we all are selfish prats. This woman showing you pictures of little Johnny wetting himself for the first time doesn’t care about you; she just wants you to praise her on her achievement. Well done lady, you forgot to use protection and now look at the little money trap you’re stuck with for the rest of your life.
I have been subjected to pictures of these little money-sucking leeches for most of my life, from pretty much right after I stoped being one, and we don’t care people. Your children are ugly, mine would be too, and that’s why I’m doing the world a favour and not breeding. Then we have to sit there and listen to you talk like a baby to your child. How is it supposed to master the language if you can’t bloody do it? Tell me that. No wonder children are going backward.
Now Facebook, yes that great social network, gives people the ability to plaster millions of pictures of your little birth defect all over the internet, so that millions of strangers can watch little Johnny roll in his own filth. I’m sure the paedophiles love this new craze, but for us law abiding citizens it’s boring people, and the kid usually looks the same in every picture. Not only that, they are all starting to look the same to me, yes they are all ugly, but they used to have unique ugliness, not anymore.
With that being said, you can imagine my disgust to log on to facebook and find ultrasounds of someone’s child everywhere. I don’t want to see ultrasounds from someone I know, and I don’t even know these people. I have an ultrasound. It’s of my gall bladder filled with gallstones. Took me ages to grow those little buggers thill they reached the point of nearly killing me so that I had to have them cut out. I’m proud of them. Do you want to see that? I still have them in a jar; I’ll move it round the back yard and chronicle its life, just like you’ve done with little Johnny. They can watch each other grow. Okay, maybe I’m going a bit far, but so are you people. Think of others and stop showing us pictures of your insides.
Unless you happen to have something weird stuck in there, like a bottle of alcohol or something. That’s something I would want to see.