Confused

Show me the way back to innocence, for experience has tortured me so.

I am lost in that period between yesterday and tomorrow, but today is just a blur. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I ventured and yet am still without. Is it too much to want to know everything? I'm trying to remember it all, but the knowledge is slipping away.
Yes, I am arrogant, yes, I am very observant, yes, I am smart, yes, I'm good at reading other peoples thoughts based on their actions, but what's the point? All these skills are meaningless without a purpose. I don't want to hurt people so my manipulation skills are fading. I don't want to appear cocky and clever so I try to sit in silence. I don't want to be considered nosey, I still notice every little detail about everything, but I don't say a word. I'm worried I will loose these talents, but if I'm not using them, there is little point in keeping them anyway.
I want purpose and I don't want to have to go back to the stage to find it, or worse, B-grade movies, that last one was a shocker. All I want is to be sure of myself then the rest will just fall into place, but how does one go about doing that.